


And when we meet again

by legolastariel



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 04:09:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7829902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How things could have continued after the halfseason finale of season 6.</p><p>Rick has made it out of Alexandria with Carl and Judith, after Jessie and Sam died right before their eyes. He is met by Glenn and Enid, who have just returned to Alexandria and had to watch it fall. One by one people of their group make it out alive and meet up with them, but someone is missing. Daryl is still out there somewhere and Rick cannot help thinking about him.<br/>Until something happens he has never experienced before in his life ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	And when we meet again

**And when we meet again**

 

I don’t know how long I’ve been standing here, holding on to my children for dear life. Judith likes to cuddle, so I’m not surprised she’s resting her little head against my shoulder, ready to go into a slumber, but my teenage son isn’t known to still allow sappy actions like this. Still, he’s letting me hold him without any protest – maybe he knows that I need this now. Maybe he does, too. 

We’ve made it out of Alexandria. Somewhere behind me, at the foot of the hill we are standing on, is the latest refuge we’ve lost to the walkers, a place I almost called _home_ – I cannot even look at it right now. Even more so, it takes all of my willpower to not squeeze my eyes shut in a desperate attempt to blind out a world that has turned to hell.

I don’t know how much longer I can go on, while my hope is fading a little more with each passing day. How much longer can I keep the spirit of my group up, while I’m losing my own? How much longer can I tell my children things will be alright again - somehow, someday - when deep down inside I don’t believe my own words? How much longer can I keep the monster inside at bay, when all I really want to do is give up, give _in_ , let it loose and lash back in any way I can to dissolve all the bottled up anger, fear, frustration, hate and despair. 

There is a soft hand on my shoulder and when I turn my head, I look into Michonne’s deep, brown eyes. She doesn’t say a word, just looks at me calmly. Just like Daryl, she doesn’t need many words to let you know what she’s thinking. _Daryl_. God, how I wish it was him next to me there, ready to catch me as always, because I feel as though I was standing at the edge of a bottomless abyss, about to fall. 

When I don’t react, she cocks her head a little and then reaches for Judith to lift her off of my arms. My baby’s soft whimper only now reaches my ears and I see Michonne raise an eyebrow, giving me a scrutiny when she realizes that I haven’t even noticed Judith crying. 

“I think, she’s hungry”, she states matter-of-factly. “Carl, want something to eat, too?”

I know this is not really about food. This is a way to relieve my poor children and give me the space she thinks I need to _work things out_. Again. Only when last time I had to work things out, Daryl was right there by my side, taking the helm, keeping the group together and organizing things in my stead until I was ready to be a leader again.  
I’m all alone now. Alone. My children are here and Michonne, and Glenn’s been waiting on top of this hill with Enid, but the rest of our family is still out there somewhere, still fighting for their lives, and I can’t do anything to help them.  
Even if all of those who have been in Alexandria were back with us here, it wouldn’t make a difference. I’d still feel alone – and lost – and I know I’ll never again feel any other way, if _he_ doesn’t come back. 

Michonne slowly walks away with Carl and Judith, my son looking back to me once to make sure I was okay, which I assure him of with a nod. Liar.  
The next moment the sounds reaching us from what used to be Alexandria hit my ears and I feel my hands start to shake violently. As though Michonne taking the children away from me, pulled me out of a stupor and only now makes me truly realize my surroundings. Someone is screaming down there. Some unfortunate soul, who had managed to survive so far, but obviously has just been made out by the walkers after all. Another one of the living lost.  
My knees buckle and I drop to the ground, panting heavily as if I’d just run a mile.  
I’ve tried so hard to blind out the memories of what happened down there and while I took care of my children, I was distracted enough. But now those memories are back.  
I draw up my knees and place my forehead against them, hugging myself and squeezing my eyes shut after all, but that doesn’t help to keep the pictures away that have burned themselves into my memory forever. 

_“Mommy?”_

I still hear Sam’s frightened call for his mother. One word, repeated over and over, that could have meant doom for all of us. I remember how I turned around to him, my hand clutching the hatchet crushingly, my pulse racing and bile rising in my throat.  
Was I truly going to kill a little boy, because he was scared in the middle of herd of walkers? Was I truly able to? I knew the answer in my heart instantly – yes. I was. And I would do what had to be done in order to keep my children safe, to make it out of there alive – for my group, my family, _Daryl_. They needed help, _he_ still may be needing help and I said it before – I’m not taking chances anymore.  
The moment my eyes focussed on Sam, Jessie _knew_. She saw the look in my eyes, realized in an instant what I was out to do and I still see the utter shock on her face. The same man who killed her husband without turning a hair, the man she cared for nevertheless, was now going to kill her little son, too, without thinking twice. She saw the monster inside of me and her instincts took over. Pulling Sam behind her back with one hand, she raised the other defensively and started screaming.

_“Rick! No! NO!!!”_

Why did she do that?! Why couldn’t she just put that hand over Sam’s mouth instead, urging him to be quiet? Why did she have to scream?  
Whatever she saw when looking into my eyes, it must have scared her witless and what she did was a natural reaction – the reaction of a mother protecting her child. From me. 

The next moment the walkers were all over her. When the first one bit her in the neck, all I could do was turn around, pull Carl with me and make my way through the herd as quickly as only possible. I couldn’t watch. Couldn’t bear to see what my action caused. I heard her screams, heard Sam’s screams as well, panicky, painful, desperate, unnaturally high-pitched. Death screams that tore my soul apart. This was my doing, once again. 

I cannot tell what became of Ron. He probably died along with his family. The horrible screams behind us had frightened Judith and she started to whimper, but the smell of fresh blood, of _food_ in their reach lured the walkers away from us, so we could reach the walls of Alexandria unnoticed and make it safely up the hill. 

Glenn was waiting there for us. He gave me a crushing handshake, but his face was white as a sheet and his eyes unnaturally wide. Did he see what happened down there? Does he know what I was about to do and what my actions caused? Did he also see the monster when looking into my eyes? Is it there permanently now for all to see? 

Perhaps he was just shocked to witchness Alexandria fall, to watch people try to excape and fail, to be utterly helpless, while his wife was down there in the middle of danger as well. 

I wonder how many of our family will return. And how many of them we will mourn as so many times before. Too many times.

 

I dare lift my head and look around me to see, if there’s anyone else up here by now save for Glenn, Enid, Michonne and my children. My heart skips a beat when I see several well-known faces – Tara is there, Eugene, Morgan and Rosita and right at this moment a shadow comes darting past me with a squeal that makes me flinch for a moment. The next second I watch Maggie fly into Glenn’s arms, hug him crushingly, while kissing him over and over, crying and laughing at the same time. 

I know how she feels. I really do. For while a smile is tugging at the corners of my mouth on witnessing this beautiful scene, I feel a stinging sensation in my eyes at the same time. I care a lot for each and every one of them, but the one face I’m longing to see is not among them. 

I breathe in deep several times to compose myself. Obviously I’ve been sitting here for quite a while now – and they let me – but it’s time to get up and be the one thing I still know is _me_ – the leader of this group.  
Just as I’m about to rise, a soft hand is placed on my shoulder and squeezes gently. My heart skips a beat and my head whips around to look at the person crouching just slightly behind me. Blue eyes look at me gently and in just an instant I feel all energy drain from my body once more. Blue eyes – but the wrong ones. Not him.  
If Carol notices how my face falls, I hope she doesn’t take it personally. A sad smile flashes across her features and once more she gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“I know,” is all she says. And I can’t help but raise one eyebrow questionally.

“Know?”

“I miss him, too.”

This simple statement floors me. How does she know what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling? Is it that obvious? And what exactly is it she claims to _know_? 

Before I can follow that train of thought, she gets up and holds out her hand to me, forcefully pulling me off the ground.

“Don’t worry. You know he’s tough – he’ll be back. But for now we gotta figure out where to go from here.” 

I see the rest of the group gather around us and without a doubt they all heard her last remark. _Go? What does she mean ‘go’?_ Can’t help making reservations.

“I know Alexandria is probably lost and no place for us to stay any longer, but we can’t leave here yet.”

I see protest in all of their eyes and Morgan voices those misgivings.

“Rick, this place isn’t safe any longer.”

“No place is safe”, I retort. 

“But it’s getting dark and we need shelter.”

“Right, it _is_ getting dark and therefore hardly the time to hit the road. That’s why we’re gonna stay right here tonight, take turns on sentry while the others sleep and tomorrow we’ll decide where to head next.”

“But …”, he starts protesting and I suddenly feel fury boil inside of me.

“No more buts, Morgan! We cannot leave _now_. Not just because it’s suicide to be out there in the middle of the night or because we need rest, but because we still got people out there, who have no way of finding their way back to us, if we simply leave. Daryl … and Sasha and Abraham are still out there and we won’t just leave them behind.”

I’ve raised my voice far too much and once more Carol places a calming hand on my back. I shake it off. I know, I’ve lost control once more. I know, my reaction may have been over the top. But, damnit, I’m _right_. If we just leave, they may never find us again. Although I do trust Daryl’s tracking skills, I won’t take that risk. And I won’t stumble through the night with my two tired and traumatized children, so this is the end of that discussion.

“I agree”, a deep female voice to my left ends my train of thought and I look thankful over to Michonne, who’s still holding Judith. “ We should set up some sort of camp here for tonight, rest, give the others and whoever may still make it out of Alexandria alive a chance to meet up with us and we’ll go from there tomorrow morning.” 

I almost expect her to add “Period” to her monolog, but she falls quiet with her usual grim expression. I can barely help smiling. 

Morgan gives in and so the so-called camp is soon set up. Actually it’s just everybody dropping to the ground right where they’ve been standing, trying to get as comfortable as only possible in the soft gras, while Michonne and Tara volunteer for the first shift of sentry duty. There isn’t much more to do. We don’t have any food or water, no one brought any more with them than the clothes on their backs and their weapons and we don’t dare light a fire in order not to lure the walkers to us. I hope Judith is tired enough to sleep the night through and doesn’t wake up hungry or thirsty, crying. 

It’s been a horrible day – one of many – and everybody is hungry, thirsty and dirty as hell, but still exhaustion gets the better of most of the group quickly and soon the sound of soft snoring and peaceful, deep breathing mixes with the snarls and moans of the walkers down in Alexandria. 

I feel sore – inside and out. I’m torn between the longing to sleep and just blind out the world, to not worry and fear for a while, and the urge to stay alert. My thoughts are racing, my emotions are in an uproar and my heart is beating so violently that I’m afraid the noise is going to wake the others.  
I have to make a decision first thing in the morning They expect me to tell them where we are going to go. They expect me to tell them that we _will_ go at all. 

I can’t. I just can’t. It was mere luck that we found each other again after the raid on the prison. I doubt we will be this lucky twice. If we leave here, no matter where we’ll turn, it could mean Daryl, Sasha and Abraham may never find their way back to us.  
Never. I may never see him again. Looking for a new refuge for us just isn’t priority. There is a reason why they … _he_ … are not back yet. I can feel it. Something held them up. Something happened, yet nothing good ever happens out there these days and I cannot simply ignore the very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. We have to go find them. Not food or water or refuge – them! _Him_.

I know the others won’t have it. Especially Morgan is going to interfere in whichever way he can and deep down inside I know he’s right. Can’t endanger the entire group for the sake of one … of three people, but my heart is telling me differently. Perhaps I should leave them for a while, point them in a direction to look for shelter and food, while I set out to look for Daryl. Daryl, Sasha and Abraham. I will know which way they went and we could meet up after my mission has been completed, but there’s still the risk of not finding them again, of losing my children to this crazy plan and how much of a cavalry would I be all by myself anyway? Then again, Carol was alone when she saved us in Terminus …

Darn! I won’t find any sleep tonight and it’s futile to even try. Silently I get up and dust myself down, wondering if I should relieve Michonne or Tara from sentry, when my pulse picks up once more. There’s a movement near a group of trees about 15 feet away – too far to see clearly what is hiding back there and yet too close to alert the others. If we all just keep quiet, maybe it’ll just go away. 

The next moment a shadow emerges from those trees and the light of the almost full moon illuminates the night enough for me to see what is approaching there. 

This time I’m sure my heart just stopped and I give a choking noise that sounds alien even to my own ears. Am I halluzinating? Have I fallen asleep after all and this is a dream? 

“Daryl?” I choke out. 

He comes further into the light and if I hadn’t known already, _now_ I’d know for sure just how Maggie felt when she finally got her Glenn back. My feet are twitching and it takes all of my willpower to stay put and not do the same thing she did – close the distance between us running, hug him tight as though I never wanted to let go again, which is a fact, and kiss the face that I’ve missed so achingly. But I can’t act on my emotions, much as I regret it. Can’t just pounce on the poor guy, much as I would want to, but that would probably just earn me a broken nose and a choice of the Dixons’ vocabulary, that has a decent person’s ears bleed.  
So for now I settle for drowning in those blue eyes – the right ones, finally – and just whisper his name once more.

He cocks his head and looks at me deadpan. Seems like he’s perfected that over the years and even after all this time it’s sometimes hard for me to read his mind, understand what he’s up to. His voice is a little raspy when he says:

“So, let’s hear it – what’s ta matter with ya, man?” 

Has my heart just stopped again? What is he aiming at? Does he _know_? And if he does, why does it sound as though he doesn’t appreciate _this_ at all? Even if I knew what to say, I couldn’t, for once again a lump in my throat is almost choking me. Before I can reply after all, he adds:

“Ya don’t write, ya never call …”

There’s a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. 

“Guilty as charged, I guess. I was kinda busy, you know.”

He glances past me at what used to be Alexandria and then focuses back on me.

“I noticed. Here I leave ya alone for a while and there goes the neighborhood.”

I can’t help smiling at that, although it is painfully true.

“Yeah, well, guess you had better not leave me alone then.” 

“'Twas _yer_ plan.”

Can’t deny that. It _was_ my plan. _I_ sent him out there. A mistake I most certainly will never repeat. 

“You okay?”

He gives a curt nod.

“How ‘bout yerself? And Carl and the li’l asskicker?” 

I smile about that. He hasn’t called Judith that in a long time.

“They’re fine. In fact, they’ve all made it out of there. Just haven’t seen Gabriel yet.”

He pulls a face.

“Who?”

This actually almost makes me laugh and I bite my tongue to not wake the others.  
For a moment there we look at each other silently and I feel an immense peace wash over me. All the horrors of the previous hours retract, disappear into the background of my mind and become numb and meaningless memories. My fear dissolves as I almost drown in the shadow blue eyes before me. 

There’s my second chance now. He’s back. He’s here with me, alive and unharmed. All I’ve got to do now is find the courage to _tell_ him. Tell him that he’s been priority for the longest time, that he is the most important person in my life, save for Carl and Judith, that I love him more than I ever thought possible.  
But how can I just blurt that out now? He’s straight, for all I know and actually I’ve always figured so was I. At this point I couldn’t care less. There is no place for labels anymore – there is no need for any. Never has been. And this is most definitely not a question of right or wrong, for if there’s anything wrong in this world it’s the dead walking and still they do. Yet there is something good left, something right and if love is the term for it, it’s nothing short of beautiful. I know what I feel and I know what I want and yet I’m scared.  
We’ve come a long way and a rocky one as such. We sure didn’t have the best start, pointing weapons into each other’s face for the most part, which makes _this_ even more valuable. We started as opponents that became allies, turned to friends, even more so – to brothers and now … Now I just have to say three little words, but dare not to. 

What if he doesn’t understand? If what I feel and need to say to him, will push him away from me, destroy our friendship, make him turn on his heels and run? 

“What?” 

His question pulls me out of my once again racing thoughts and look at him, obviously confused.

“You’ve been staring. What’s ta matter?”

Come on, you coward. Second chances don’t come twice.

“Daryl, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“So you got something you wanna tell me after all.”

I’m sure my eyebows reach my hairline as I look at him stunned. I can’t believe he remembers that moment and even recalls his exact words to me back then. That was such a long time ago. A time, when we had just met and weren’t on good terms at all. Were we? How is it we obviously both remember that one moment so vividly though?

“I do, but I’m not sure you would wanna hear it.”

He shrugs his shoulders and takes a step closer to me.

“Ain’t gonna find nothin’ out biting your tongue, Grimes.”

“I … Jeez, do you remember the morning after our encounter with the claimers?”

His face becomes a stony façade. 

“Vividly. A night I don’t care ta recall.”

“Neither do I, but do you remember what I said to you that morning?”

“That ya want eggs and bacon for breakfast?”

Is he trying to joke now of all times? My nerves are strung to breaking point, but before I can reply he breathes in deep and adds gravely:

“Hey, I know what ya said. I’ve heard ya.”

“Yeah, but did you know what …”

“Rick! I said, I’ve _heard_ ya. And I know what ya meant ta say. I may only be a Dixon and come from one of the least educated and civil families of the fucking States, but I ain’t stupid.”

He cocks his head just slightly and for a second I think, I see the ghost of a smile flash across his face.

“Actually, for someone who’s so smart, it’s _you_ who catches on pretty slowly. I’ve known long before ya, I guess. Hell, _everyone’s_ known ‘cept you.” 

My eyes must have the size of saucers by now and once more I’m at a loss for words. Yeah, this is impressive, Grimes. Here I swore to tell him, tell him how I feel, everything, when only I get that second chance. And now even Judith’s eloquence would clearly beat mine.  
But Daryl helps me out, throws me a lifeline, as usual, and decides to do the talking, since I’m obviously choking on my tongue. Perhaps he’s even enjoying this, the son of a bitch. 

“Wasn’t too hard ta find out, ya know? I knew the moment Andrea shot me …”

He stops as he notices me flinch. I so hate to recollect that moment, feel my pluse pick up painfully, just as it did back then. And it hits me all of a sudden what he’s aiming at.

“Huh,” he lets out a confirmative grunt, “I guess, pretty much everybody wudda liked ta shoot me back then – ‘cept you. Last thing I heard before I passed out was yer scream. And it wasn’t an angry ‘The hell are ya doin’, bitch?’ kinda scream.”

He’s right. I wasn’t angry with Andrea for shooting despite of me telling her not to. It wasn’t just the shock of her mistaking one of the living, I was still trying to protect, for a walker and almost killling him.  
When I heard the shot and watched Daryl drop to the ground, it felt as though she had hit _me_ – straight to the heart. How could I not have known back then?  
Yeah, Lori … and Shane. Too many distracting things happening at the time. But then later … Later. Hershel’s farm was overrun, then Woodbury, the Governer, the prison, Terminus …  
Bullshit, Grimes! Those are excuses, lame explanations for something that doesn’t need any. You just wouldn’t allow those feelings, pushed them back and tried to deny them to yourself for the longest time. Wasted time. And why? Yes, you’ve been a straight guy all of your life and suddenly you’re in love with another man. _So what?!_ That has never happened before and it shouldn’t? It’s not right? To hell with that hypocritical shit people use to come up with to protect their narrow-minded view on the world. The dead walking isn’t _right_ , either, still it’s happening. 

Whatever it is that’s between Daryl and me – I want this. Want him. More than anything. 

He’s looking at me calmly, as though he was waiting for something – probably me lifting my jaw off of the ground and stop playing pillar of salt. 

“You’ve known?” I finally choke out lamely.

He rolls his eyes.

“Rick, I’m betting ya – they’ve all known. Yer as subtle as a sledgehammer, y’know?”

Can’t help pulling a face at that.

“Yeah? How?”

He shrugs his shoulders.

“Li’l things. Lots of them. There’s hardly another name ya use as often as mine. Risked a dangerous hit on Woodbury ta get me out, even though that could have meant losing someone else. You had no problem leaving Carol out there all by herself, but whenever I decided to leave, ya tried ta stop me.” He shrugs. ”Just never tried hard enough.”

He spreads his arms in a questioning gesture.

“How many fucking times do I have ta leave for ya ta finally _get it_ and find yer balls?”

Suddenly a kaleidoscope of memories flash before my eyes. All the times he _did_ leave, telling me that he was better of on his own or with Merle for that matter – he was trying to trigger a reaction, hoping I’d finally acknowledge what’s in my heart, and stop him. But I never did. I let him go, each time. And he came back to give me another chance. Each time.  
There were so many moments when I went to see him – to talk, to be with him, for no other reason than that. Ever since he came into my life, we were around each other most of the time, like we were two magnets drawn to one another. There was no one else I could talk to so easily, no one else who made me feel so much at ease, accepted, appreciated, supported, protected … loved? How could I still fool myself for so long? Shane – he called Daryl my wingman. He noticed how quickly we’d become so close and if I think of it now, I’ve got to admit, that Lori’s affair wasn’t what doomed our marriage - it was mine. Already back then my heart belonged to Daryl, not her, and she knew it, too. As did Shane. And Daryl. Last fool to still deny it, was me.  
Daryl’s right about Carol, too. The day I banished her from our group, left her to her own devices out there, allegedly for what she did at the prison – that sort of merciless action wasn’t nearly as hard for me as I liked to believe. What she’d done was just an alibi, an excuse I blinded myself with, a _reason_ to remove her from the group, while in fact there was just one simple explanation for my action – jealousy. I was jealous, because she followed Daryl like a puppy dog, because him and her had established a close friendship, because she was allowed closer to him then I had even dared, but was dying to be.  
Childish and pathetic behavior, Grimes, and you are a coward to begin with. Who the hell made you the leader of this group? 

So where do we go from here? How do you make the transition from friends to lovers standing in the middle of nowhere with your exhausted family around you, the grunts of a herd of walkers in your back, remains of blood and guts still on you as well as their disgusting stench?  
I just want to forget everything that’s in the past. All the time I’ve wasted. All the stupid alibis I made up for something that is nothing short of perfect. I just want to hug him close now despite the fact that we both once more look as though we’ve just been pulled out of the gutter. _I love you_. Why is it still so hard to just say it?

Just when I’m about to silence all concerns and finally close the distance between us, a movement to my left has me freeze. Alarmed I turn around, reaching for my gun, when I notice Michonne standing in the near distance, looking over to us. 

I can’t help giving a deep sigh. Tara is probably out there watching us as well. And although there’s probably no one else who’d understand as well as she, I unconsiously take one step back. Again. Damn, I didn’t put anyone on sentry to watch _me_ , for crying out loud. But perhaps it would be a good idea to talk to the rest of the group first, especially Carl, and explain how _things_ are between Daryl and me. 

A snort from Daryl’s direction has me focus back on him.

“Need help finding yer balls, Grimes?”

I can’t help pulling a face. One thing’s for sure – a relationship with a Dixon isn’t likely to be of the romantic fairy tale kind.  
Now that this typical Dixon comment has killed the slightest touch of romance, the bubble around the two of us, that has kept us secluded from the world for a little while, bursts and brings me back to the here and now. 

“Where’s Sasha and Abraham?” 

A set of blue eyes looks at me piercingly for a very long moment. If possible they narrow even more and give me his _‘Are you kidding me?’_ look. Then he just slightly shakes his head and I know, I once more messed it up. Guess I do need help to find my balls after all.

“They’re okay,” he replies grimly. “We ran into a little trouble over on Countyline Road.”

Both, his expression as well as his inflection set off alarm bells in the back of my mind and I feel my whole body tense. Before I get a chance to say anything, he continues.

“Two of them freaks stole ma bike and crossbow. If I get ma hands on that sonuvabitch … Then we ran into a group of jerks playing Hell’s Angels – biker gang, y’know. Claimed all our stuff for an asshole called Negan.”

I can’t help sighing. Not again. Why do we keep running into groups that mean nothing but trouble? Aren’t there any decent people left out there? Are we the only ones?  
A shiver runs down my spine. After what we did at his church, Gabriel would probably say that in fact there are no decent people out there at all anymore. And maybe he’d be right. Goes for him, too, after all. 

Negan. A new threat. A new group we had best not run into. Now I know where we’ll be heading first thing in the morning – as far away from Countyline Road as only possible. We’ve got no destination, but we’ve got a direction – and our tracker is back with us. And if he stays this time, somewhere along the road we may even find my balls. 

That thought amost makes me smile, but a shadow to my left distracts me once more. 

“Rick?” 

Michonne is scrutinizing me – a thing she’s perfected over the months – and then looks around us. 

“Who are you talking to?”

Can’t help frowning. What kinda question is that? Just when I’m about to state the obvious, I glance over to the spot Daryl’s been standing and find it empty. He’s gone. 

“Daryl?” 

Where did he go? Why did he leave? I know, I’ve been a coward, know I should have just acted on my feelings and ignore the voice of reason. Talk to the others first? Are you out of your fucking mind, Grimes? Hasn’t there been enough talk? Did _not_ speaking up now push him away after all? Did he dismiss any hope that we could ever be more than friends as long as I don’t even dare a hug? After all we’ve been through – today and any other day since all this started – why the heck did I still hesitate? I just wasted that second chance I’d been given. Yeah, what’s ta matter with ya, Grimes? 

“Daryl?” Michonne repeats gingerly. “Rick, I watched you for quite a while – you’ve been talking to yourself. There was no one else here.”

I gasp as though she just punched me in the stomach. What the heck is that woman talking about? 

“It’s dark, Michonne. You probably just didn’t see him.“

“Saw you though. Moon’s bright enough. You sure, you okay?”

I know the look she’s giving me. I’ve seen it often enough. On her face and the faces of the others. Back at the prison. After Lori’s death. When I saw _her_. When I followed her even outside the fences. When I talked to her. Even though she was … No. No! NO!!!!

I can feel my face turn as pale as a sheet. Can’t be. He was here. I know what I saw. 

“Rick?” 

Her voice pulls me out and I know my confusion is palpable. Am I losing my mind? Am I hallucinating again? And if I do – does it mean what it meant back then? Or was it just a dream? But how can you dream with your eyes wide open?  
I breathe in deep and almost expect another wave of panic and despair to wash over me, but nothing of that kind happens. Somehow, deep down inside, I know two things to be the gospel truth – I love Daryl Dixon like I’ve never loved anyone in my entire life … and he is not dead.  
The moment that thought has formed in my head and left a deep imprint in my heart, I hear his voice like an echo in my mind. 

_“Don’t forget – I hate you, too, asshole.”_

Michonne must be absolutly positive that I’ve lost my mind, when I burst into laughter, quickly composing myself again though. He _is_ alive and he’s out there – _they_ are. Daryl, Sasha and Abraham. Daryl, Abraham and Sasha. And I know where. Countyline Road.  
He is still priority. Always will be. And I’ll be damned if this group will be headed anywhere else first thing in the morning than straight in that direction. We’ll get him out – them. We’re not going to leave them behind – they are a part of this group. And he is a part of me.  
He’s the other half of my soul I’ve lived without for far too long. The half that somehow, some way just communicated with mine over the distance, sent me a message, connected in a way I never thought possible. The half I need to have back with me to be complete. 

Lori’s apparition was completely different. She was haunting me. When he was here with me just a moment ago, I felt whole in a way I haven’t ever since I sent him out there. Blue eyes shining. A small smile playing around his lips. And white wings on his back.

“Do you believe in angels, Michonne?” 

 

Epilogue

 

“Daryl?”

The soft touch of a hand pressing a cloth to the side of his head brings Daryl back around and with a painful grunt he tries to sit up. 

“Damn. Couldn’t ya stop the fucking truck before it hit me?” 

A deep laughter behind his back has the tracker look over his shoulder where he spots a redhead. 

“You’ve got a thick skull, Dixon, gotta give ya that.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” a gloating unknown voice from a dark corner cuts in. “When Negan introduces that dork to Lucille, we’ll see how thick his skull really is.”

Laughing at the joke none of the three prisoners understands, the stranger makes for the door and after knocking twice, is let out by one of his comrads. 

Daryl struggles into a sitting position and takes the cloth Sasha’s been pressing to his head from her hand. It is blood-stained.

“Who the fuck was that?”

She just shrugs.

“One of that biker gang who tried to take our stuff from us.”

“No, you should rephrase that,” Abraham cuts in. “One of that biker gang who not only tried, but in fact _did_ take our stuff from us. And you …” he turns to Daryl,  
“calling them names and picking a fight was a typical Dixon reaction that pretty much got us nowhere.” 

Daryl gives him an angry scowl.

“They got ma bike and crossbow already. Ain’t no one stealing all ma stuff from me without earnin’ a bloody nose.”

Sasha’s eyebrows go up.

“Unarmed and outnumbered seven to one?”

“Pretty much the same as always, isn’t it?” 

“Nope,” she replies with an amused smile, “usually we’re armed and outnumbered ten to one.”

An amused air comes to Daryl’s face as well, but before he is able to reply, Abraham comments dryly:

“But the walkers don’t knock ya over the head.”

Giving him another scowl Daryl gets off the ground and glares at him.

“Nah, they’d bite it off. Whadda ya want, man?” 

“Out!” 

Abraham angrily points to the door of what seems to be a former stable of some kind. It is an old, rundown building with a small barred window and a solid door, that is undoubtingly guarded from the outside. 

With a thoughtful look on his face Daryl turns to the window and stares into the darkness beyond. 

“Chill! We’ll get outta here soon.” 

“Yeah, Houdini? Are ya gonna use them wings and fly out of here?” 

“Abraham”, Sasha says in a warning inflection the moment Daryl whirls around on his heels, furiously taking several strides towards the red-haired man.

“Am gonna use them fists, if ya don’t get outta my face. Ain’t my fault we’re in here, but I’m tellin’ ya – we ain’t gonna be here long.” He turns back to the window.  
“Rick’s gonna get us out”, he then adds softly. 

Abraham gives a sarcastic snort.

“Rick doesn’t even know where we are and he’s busy keepin’ things together in Alexandria.”

“Alexandria fell,” Daryl replies gravely without turning. “And Rick knows exactly where we are. Ya’ll see.”

Abraham and Sasha exchange a confused look behind the archer’s back, but if they reply to the mysterious comment, it goes unheard. Daryl keeps staring out into the dark, smiling to himself despite the tight situation. 

_"Way to go, Grimes. I knew you got somethin’ ya wanted ta tell me. And when we meet again, ya best do. Don’t forget – I hate you, too, asshole."_

**Author's Note:**

> There's a sequel where the boys become the couple they are meant to be. 
> 
> A New World  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7857607


End file.
